“Boys, you’re in trouble. Unless you got a magic get out of jail free card, you’ll be going to jail. Directly to jail,” Officer Mallory said. “Now, you’re both under arrest.”
At the jailhouse, they sweated and squirmed in the crowded cell. One of the inmates, Jake the Jailbird they called him, seemed right at home sprawled out on the hard, wooden bench like he owned the place. Car avoided him. Dog stayed close to Car.
They were left with their self-pity and anger for several hours, until Car had finally had enough.
He walked over to the cell door, smashed his face between the bars and yelled, “You just take, take, take. School tax. Income tax. Street repairs. Improvements. Doctor and hospital bills. Utility costs. Rent. I even got charged a poor tax. What’s that? A poor tax? Why do I gotta pay a tax for being poor? And, that luxury tax is a joke. All the fat cat bankers just keep gettin’ fatter? I move two steps forward and get pushed three steps back. All I wanted was to make it to Boardwalk. Is that too much to ask? I just wanted a chance.”
Car dropped to his knees and leaned back against the wall, defeated. Dog sat quietly on the bench and thought about what he was going to do with the rest of his life and whether Car would be a part of it.
Officer Mallory released them from jail after a couple of go-arounds with their attorney, Battleship. They decided to take a break from the money-for-nothing game.
Car and Dog never heard from Iron again. Someone said they saw Iron jump a train down on the Reading Railroad. Maybe he got out of the city, found a new life where he would be appreciated.
Dog still follows Car around occasionally as if he’s the King of Atlantic City. He works part-time at Water Works, doing the 9-1 thing. He moved up to a respectable bungalow on St. Charles Place with his girlfriend, Thimble. But, the rumor mill said he’s flipped upside down on his mortgage.
Car claims that someday he’ll roll the dice and hit it big out on the Boardwalk, but Dog has his doubts. Car’s thinking about settling down with his new girlfriend, Cat. Dog isn’t too keen on Cat. They all get together from time to time down on Baltic Avenue and poke fun at the losers on Mediterranean.
The End…or is it?
Fun Facts straight from the mouth of Hasbro’s Monopoly:
- The longest lasting Monopoly game in history, 70 straight days. I think we pulled an all-nighter once.
- Jake the Jailbird, captured by Officer Edgar Mallory, is the character locked behind the jail bars. I wonder what he did?
- In 2013, the Iron token (part of the game since 1935) was retired and replaced with the Cat token. Happy retirement, Iron! Seventy-eight years is a respectable stretch.
- During World War II, files, compasses and escape maps were stashed into Monopoly game boards and smuggled into POW camps in Germany. Real cash for the escapees was hidden in the Monopoly money packs. Even the British Secret Service used the game during WWII. Monopoly is a life-saver.
- A $600 chocolate version of Monopoly was offered in the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog in 1978. Do you think buyers ate it when the game was over?
- A real show stopper, the $2 million game produced by San Francisco jeweler Sidney Mobell, featured a 23-carat gold game board and diamond-studded dice. When is the proper occasion to play a gold and diamond Monopoly game? I would wear those diamond dice as earrings.