Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The sorrow was tangible, hovering over the trailer park rubble like impenetrable fog. It engulfed them in a blanket of hopelessness.
Survivors wandered through debris piles searching for scraps of their former life mixed amongst the tornado’s aftermath. Their humble neighborhood resembled a steamy, fetid landfill.
Sylvia perched on the dismembered steps that once led to her front door and stared at her brother’s dissected keyboard. She wanted to feel his presence, hear his music again. But staggering numbness consumed her as she watched the ambulance drive away, its sirens silent, its lights extinguished. The need for urgency gone.
Now don’t be too sad. This is a work of fiction, after all. Well, mostly. This story was written for the Friday Fictioneer’s photo prompt. The challenge is to write a story or poem based on the photo, in 100 words or less. I clocked in at exactly 100 words.
Chronic Nonsense 
Very sad, but well written. 🙂
Thanks, Karen! 🙂
Neat tale, well crafted.
Thank you so much! 😀
Perfect title for a well-written bit of tragedy.
janet
Thanks so much, Janet! 🙂
Heartbreaking, but beautiful.
Thank you so much, Jan! 🙂
You totally nailed it, Lisa! A skilfully-told sad tale.
Thank you, Joanna!
Dear Lisa,
This was a heart-breaker. The image of the silent ambulance with the urgency gone was very effective.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks so much, Rochelle! 🙂
Dear Lisa,
Your story is sad and somber and very moving.
‘Survivors wandered through the debris searching for scraps of their former lives mixed amongst the tornado’s aftermath.’
I was derailed slightly by the mix of plural ‘survivors’ and singular ‘scrap’. I also removed the word ‘plies’. The new sentence is offered fro your consideration. You may find it reads better, or not. Apologies if i have overstepped any lines.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi, Doug,
You are exactly right about the plural and singular. I changed ‘a scrap’ to ‘scrap’ as you suggested. I started the story one way and changed it up (something I often do with tenses and POV), but that can cause me trouble. I kept ‘piles’ as I kind of like the sound of it. Thanks so much for the suggestion. 🙂
Cheers,
Lisa
I’ve no idea how you managed to conjure up the scene so effectively but you’ve come up with a brilliantly poignant piece.
Thanks so much, Etienne! 🙂
Good piece Lisa….the ambulance got to me….
Thanks, Sherry! 😀
Great title; sometimes we don’t pay enough attention to the titles that people give to their pieces. Good one.
Thanks, Sandra! I agree with you about the titles. I often struggle with them. They either come to me instantly, or I fret over them, settling for something mediocre just to get it done.
So sad. Well done!
Thanks, Miss Tiffany! 🙂
You’re welcome!
Oh that ending.. and the ambulance .. told the whole story. Very skilled storytelling and very sad.
Thanks so much!
This story conveys so much in so few words. Very moving.
Thank you! 🙂
A lovely tale and although I like your title I find it objectionable to this piece as if the brother were nothing more.
Dawn,
Thanks for visiting. I appreciate the feedback, and I’m always interested in how people interpret my work.
“Trailer Trash” doesn’t refer to a character. I don’t believe that anywhere in the story I give the impression that any character is trash. It was meant to imply that their neighborhood of trailers is now “trashed” by the storm, so to speak. I allude to that in the line, “Their humble neighborhood resembled a steamy, fetid landfill.” Landfill = trash.
Cheers,
Lisa