Photo Copyright Ted Strutz
Lousy tourists float in on their tacky boats with their snotty attitudes, treating the locals like their personal hired help. Through my reinforced window, I watch them play out their leisurely lives, indulging excessively, spending more on two-day trysts than I make in a month as town mortician.
I dream of escaping from this miserable place, getting lost at sea, but for now, I must bide my time. I grab my forceps and look into the mouth of another dead tourist. This one’s a gold mine. Her capped teeth won’t be missed. My retirement account just hit the mother lode.
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve participated in Friday Fictioneers; in fact, I haven’t been able to blog much lately. My 100-word story isn’t really supposed to be funny, but I laughed at it. It’s kind of ghoulishly ridiculous.
Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this gold mine of a challenge, that lures more than a 100 feverish fictioneers each week. We are truly wealthier for being a part of her writing community. Click the badge below to join:
Chronic Nonsense 
Ghoulishly delightful!
Thanks, Dawn!
mining the mouth ! 😀
My mouth could be mined with all the caps I have. It would contribute nicely to his retirement plan too. I shudder to think. Thanks for visiting. 🙂
Lisa, Welcome back. This is dark humor, but humor nonetheless. 🙂 I’m wondering how those people died. It looks like he has a helper.
Well written.:) —Susan
Thanks, Susan! I left some of the story open to the interpretation of the reader. I’m not sure if he’s responsible for the dead tourists or if he had a little help. Hmmm…
I love the character’s voice in this story – I suspect they will be too bitter by the time they retire to get any real pleasure, though it sounds like dead tourists are a regular thing, so it may come fairly soon!
I agree, Siobhan. He is too bitter to ever achieve happiness. Besides, he doesn’t deserve it with his penchant for necro-robbery. I think I just made up a new word. 😉 Thanks for reading, Siobhan!
That’s a cracker! Wasn’t expecting that. I wonder if that ever happens? Well done.
Thanks, Sandra! I’m sure gold mining teeth happens all too often.It’s actually kind of sad. They are the defenseless victims for sure.
Mmmmm. Your character’s certainly no ray of sunshine – or am I mis-reading the piece? Great fun – I can see a TV sketch here.
Thanks, Patrick! You are not misreading; my character is a bit bitter about his life.
Ooohh. Creepy. Well done, dear.
Thanks, Alicia!
Dear Lisa,
I’ll admit it. I laughed. Nicely done and good to see you back.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle! 🙂
Well, he’s full of cheer. Maybe it’s time he found another job. I hope the teeth won’t be missed and that she hadn’t left them as a bequest to anyone. 😉
He’s a cranky guy. Thanks for visiting, Sarah Ann. 🙂
Dear Lisa, Good story with mining in mind. Very clever to take out and sell teeth from the dead. The mortician has a good gig going on! Devious! Thanks, Nan 🙂
Thanks, Nan! 🙂
We’ve missed you Lisa! I’m very late getting around this week, but really enjoyed this cheeky chiller! Your stories are always so great; hence, I’ve missed reading them. Welcome back!
Thanks so much, Dawn! I appreciate you taking the time to visit and comment. I’m not doing too well at keeping up with reading and commenting. I’m behind after having multiple guests at my house over the last week. There’s never enough time. 🙂
I hear you! I’ve been in 4 states in 6 weeks, celebrated 4 graduations and a wedding, had guests from Germany, and now I’m packing for 3 weeks away… keeping up is nearly impossible! You do what you can, but I’ve missed you at FF Lisa. Take care! 🙂
Love your mortician’s perspective on the prompt. Never would have thought of it.
Thanks so much!